Big Tall Amy

Tall and awkward. Perhaps not the most flattering moniker, but it’s one I’ve come to appreciate. More than that, it’s one I’ve embodied, emulated and ultimately embraced.

Now I’m not that tall as they come. In fact, I’d say I’m average for a tall person. And 5’10″ is average…for a man. But still I find it comes up in conversation a lot. It’s actually funny how people tend to use tallness as an icebreaker. “Wow, you’re tall!” And that’s fine, but it’s not like I’d meet a person for the first time and say, “Holy crap, your hair is brown!” or “Daaaaang, you have huge boobs!!!” But yet time and time again I meet well-meaning folks who find it absolutely necessary to inform me that I am, in fact, taller than average.

In some ways I get it: tallness is considered a positive in Western society. Therefore, many may see tallness as a good thing, something to be envied, or at least commented on. And then there are those who mention that they’d LOVE to be tall and how lucky I am. (Believe me, it’s not always a blessing…but more on that later.)

In an effort to glean some expert (or at least more eloquent) info on the topic, I turned to Google and instead found this gem: http://www.crazytownblog.com/crazytown/2011/01/tallness-a-plague-on-society.html A poor 8-year-old Tony Asaro couldn’t reach the pencil sharpener at school and decided from that day on that all tall people were evil. In his essay, he explains why the world is totally against short people and how tall people must be eradicated. (The photo of the urinals made me laugh, since I constantly find myself having to crouch down to wash or dry my hands in public…but again, that’s another story.) So I guess it’s safe to say that some people may be a little jealous of us more statuesque folk. (Tony, I’m sorry…don’t hurt me!)

So why blog about it? Sure, tallness can be awesome. I’m easy to spot in a crowd, it comes in handy in claustrophobic situations, and let’s face it, I look AWESOME in heels, but there are many, many, many hilarious, annoying and, yes, awkward aspects to being tall.

Mr. Asaro, here’s an early childhood story of my own: One of my earliest memories is from pre-school. I was maybe 4 or so, I think I was wearing overalls (and they may have been too short). My pre-school at that time had a classroom in a larger elementary school – so there were always older kids around. I can’t remember too many specifics, except that when I entered that classroom for the first time I was immediately aware that I stood out. After a few kids called me things like “giant” and “monster,” it began to sink in. One kid gave me the name “Big Tall Amy,” and I remember feeling like a celebrity.

That feeling, in my little kid brain, was justified when I was given the lead role of “engineer” in my kindergarten play, “The Alphabet Express.” The reason: I was tall and I was loud. My celebrity was shot down a few months later when I did NOT receive a role as a mushroom fairy thing in The Nutcracker ballet. The reason: I was too tall…and loud.

Eventually I just got used to being the tallest kid in my class, and, come third grade (the last year of elementary school where I attended), the tallest kid at my school. My third grade graduation pictures are hilarious…especially the one of me shaking hands with a my-size principal.

Middle school was a disaster, but that should come as a shock to nobody. It is, after all, a time when girls are either chunky or gangly and little boys resemble pock-marked letter “L’s.” For me it meant coming to terms with being a little different, befriending those who didn’t notice, and sometimes…oftentimes…standing out. Furthermore, I became quiet. As my body grew (5’0″ at age 9, 5’7″ by age 12), inside I felt like I could disappear. But it’s hard to hide when you’re a big girl.

In seventh grade a popular boy wrote a note in my yearbook. All it said was, “Big Tall Amy: Stay cool. -Big Joe” If I stood out, at least I wasn’t the only one.

I’m not sure when it happened – maybe it was the teacher who taught me “chin up, chest out” – but eventually…I stood up. If I was going to be awkward, I was going to do it with a sense of dignity…damn it.

High school and college were easier – awkward kids flock together – and eventually I began to find me and find my voice. I’m still a quiet person, but I’ve found that I have a lot to say.

So that’s me in a big ol’ nutshell. Just a tall, awkward girl sharing her tall tales, awkward ramblings…and everything else in between. Enjoy.